It would be hubristic to presume to have any greater notion of God or what G_d is than the next human, but I do know this about my own emotional existence: I need some Great Source in order to cope in this big, scary world.
So, do I believe in God? Frankly, the existence of G_d is not determined by my belief.
G_d either is or isn’t.
What my belief can do nevertheless is influence my relationship with the Unknown Unknown. What my belief will do is try to configure a relationship with the seemingly unknowable.
Yet I continue to look for evidence.
Because whatever conception they have dreamed up, or whatever conception they were given, usually at an early age, does not bear out in the dire ways many of our actions unfold here on Earth, some reject the existence of G_d
It is hard to reconcile the myth of a Loving, Benevolent God – a kind of Santa Claus – with all the cruelty that occurs minutely on this planet.
Then too, there’s the other extreme, a Punishing and Terrible God. Who wants to have that force to turn to in times of need?
My conclusion is that every time we define God, we lose sight of G_d. I amuse myself with the notion that G_d is just too big for us humans to see.
What I do experience when I make space to plug in my spiritual extension cord to the Perceived Energy during the course of each 24 hours is that my day is elevated, and sometimes occurrences materialize that are wonderful beyond my imagination. Or simply, I live through a day without descending into despair.
Somewhere in the Bible is the suggestion that we “seek the face of God.” It doesn’t say anything about finding. Sometimes, I can catch a glimpse.
My own experience of seeking G_d is that, paradoxically, I find my own self – I grow nearer to the truth of who I am. The answer to that question, by the way, is nearly as elusive as finding G_d.
“Everything and everyone is an experience and an expression of G_d.” This was a message that came one day from the subconscious. In response, I asked, “But what about Hitler?”
So please, take a look at the column I wrote that expands on this notion. It is one of the selected columns in my debut ebook, In Through A Coloured Lens.
Jan 20, 2005
After the Shock of the December 26, 2004 Tsunami Tragedy in South Asia, Southeast Asia and East Africa had worn off and reality took hold, some asked how could God make this happen?
The reasoning goes that God being all-powerful could have stopped this from happening, therefore why didn’t He?
A friend suggested that perhaps the question is misleading; that in the first place, God didn’t make it happen. She said asking the question is like asking why God didn’t stop Hitler during World War II. Rather, that when such things as man-made or natural disaster occur here on Earth as they have since the beginning of time, we pause to become aware of acts of God in the midst of it.
We can focus solely on the evil that was Hitler, but shouldn’t we also keep in mind the countless acts of selflessness by the many who risked their own lives to save others? So too with the tragic loss of human life that came with that 2004 earthquake and resulting tsunamis, also came an outpouring of human kindness and compassion in response.
Some looking for evidence of God will see it there.
For many, it takes some effort to find a personal relationship with God, The Creator, The Great Mystery. We try in all earnestness to define God and yet ironically by trying to do that, we end up limiting the undeniable. We are told from childhood in our places of worship that God is kind, loving, forbearing, patient, vengeful, wrathful, terrible and so on. Then we are told that we must believe all of this. When life experiences do not match the things we have been told about God, some lose faith because the god we have been taught about does not live up to our expectations. We make our own god-idols and feel let down when they don’t do what we want.
Yet, somewhere in the Bible it suggests we ‘seek the face of God’. It doesn’t say find it. It is in the seeking that we find a personal relationship with the Great Mystery.
The older I become the more perplexing I find the consequences of human behavior. The small things we do individually in our millions lead collectively to amazing and sometimes disturbing results.
This is a world in which we experience the flip-side of everything, the better to appreciate them. That’s life. There is no day without night. And who can know joy unless they have truly felt sorrow? Or freedom without the loss of it.
When the world experiences overwhelming disasters such as that December 26 tragedy, individually we have a keener appreciation of our own lives. We begin to find more precious what we ordinarily take for granted – homes and family members still with us. We see that we have everything we really need and so much more.
So instead of asking ‘how could God have made this happen?’ the question becomes, ‘what would God have me do now?’ The answer is clear from the actions of the many who give what they have to those in need.
If another such disaster were to occur tomorrow, God knows, people would find it within themselves to selflessly reach out and do whatever was needed to help each other yet again. Count on it.